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Funny Christian Women Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Christian Women" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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One day I might just change all of my passwords to 'Women' since nobody can seem to figure them out.
Unknown
409 Likes
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Women are like a computer virus... they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer your money, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile and hang your life!
Unknown
236 Likes
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Just because I'm sassy and have a mouth on me doesn't mean I'm coming from a negative place. There's irony in what I do; that gets overlooked. I've listened to a lot of rap where men talk a certain way, often about women, and I'm not offended. It's meant to be funny. I'm throwing it right back at them, with humour, but some people can't take it. They're not used to women talking back.
Kesha
30 Likes
Just because I'm sassy and have a mouth on me doesn't mean I'm coming from a negative place. There's irony in what I do; that gets overlooked. I've listened to a lot of rap where men talk a certain way, often about women, and I'm not offended. It's meant to be funny. I'm throwing it right back at them, with humour, but some people can't take it. They're not used to women talking back.
Kesha
16 Likes
Women spend more time thinking about what men think, then men spend thinking!
Unknown
111 Likes
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The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn't around to propose to her.
Jarod Kintz
25 Likes
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When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.
Unknown
27 Likes
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I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
Sir Cliff Richard
26 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
617 Likes
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The trouble with some of us is that we have been inoculated with small doses of Christianity which keep us from catching the real thing.
Leslie Weatherhead
16 Likes
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I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
Ronald Reagan
5 Likes
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A passionate interest in what you do is the secret of enjoying life...whether it is helping old people or children, or making cheese or growing earthworms.
Julia Childs
18 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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The core of my work is dedicated not to pleasing women but to pleasing men.
Christian Louboutin
14 Likes
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Like a good chess player, Satan is always trying to manuever you into a position where you can save your castle only by losing your bishop.
CS Lewis
9 Likes
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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld
19 Likes
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A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife
Thomas Fuller
24 Likes
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
280 Likes
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My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share.
Rita Mae Brown
29 Likes
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