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Bend It Like Beckham Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Bend It Like Beckham Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
Jim Loy
27 Likes
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henry Youngman
19 Likes
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When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...
Robert Paul
43 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money.
Jeff Foxworthy
24 Likes
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Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.
Andy Waits
30 Likes
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The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week.
Spike Milligan
11 Likes
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The moment when someone jokes about one of your insecurities and you have to pretend like it didn't bother you.
Unknown
179 Likes
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
63 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
Dan Hicks
0 Likes
I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
Scott Roeben
47 Likes
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It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of s.. jokes and gross humour.
Keenen Ivory Wayans
18 Likes
Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
Nick Clooney
2 Likes
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I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
Simon Le Bon
4 Likes
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle-baby.
Henry Youngman
41 Likes
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
I remember, growing up, if something big, God forbid. happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.
Oscar Nunez
3 Likes
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
Arnold H Glasgow
8 Likes
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