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Bend It Like Beckham Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Bend It Like Beckham Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
David Antin
9 Likes
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Dear math, grow up and solve your own stupid problems I'm sick and tired of doing it for you!
Unknown
195 Likes
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
409 Likes
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Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy Cooper
21 Likes
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Today is International Sword Swallowers Day. Im sure there are lots of jokes there, but figured the legit carnies deserve a shout out.
Neil Patrick Harris
7 Likes
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Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment...
Robert Paul
67 Likes
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The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun.
Margot Kidder
0 Likes
What is the best s..ual position to create a gorgeous, charming absolutely attractive and cute baby?.... Ask my parents!
Unknown
201 Likes
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I'm the kind of person who would come out of the gym...And go straight to McDonalds.
Unknown
157 Likes
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My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
Wendy Leibman
111 Likes
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Im afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.
Nikhil Saluja
308 Likes
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A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Ronnie Corbett
75 Likes
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I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
Matt Groening
1 Likes
I had plenty of pi.ples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
87 Likes
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Yo momma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Unknown
60 Likes
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Your mama's so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy poured out!
Unknown
46 Likes
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Your momma is so fat, she climbed in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer.
Unknown
21 Likes
Fat Jokes quotes
Yo mama is so fat, if she wore a GoodYear hat, she'd look like a blimp.
Unknown
20 Likes
Fat Jokes quotes
I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
Sandra Bernhard
2 Likes
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