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Daddy Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Daddy Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
Unknown
63 Likes
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I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
Unknown
8 Likes
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All diseases run into one, old age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
30 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Shubham Joshi
170 Likes
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The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, "Daddy, I need to ask you something," he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan.
Garrison Keillor
874 Likes
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I aint a redneck 'cause I talk American real good!
Alec Straub
164 Likes
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A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
Unknown
549 Likes
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Your annual booze-fueled New Year's Eve spectacle will surely inspire us all to drink less in 2014.
Unknown
3 Likes
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I feel lazy. In fact, I'm feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Unknown
164 Likes
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Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
Hussein Nishah
554 Likes
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Lets attend an opulent New Year's Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
Unknown
6 Likes
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Unknown
948 Likes
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If you're a dude and it takes more than 20 seconds to take of your jeans because it's tight,You Gay !
Boat_Grandberry
51 Likes
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Seeing the irresponsibly dangerous stunts in the Spider-Man musical has prepared me for your New Year's behavior.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Ok summer I'm sorry for bad mouthing you bout being so hot, can you come back?? Its freakin cold!
Unknown
68 Likes
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I could be a morning person. If morning happened to be around noon.
Unknown
248 Likes
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