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Funny Metaphors Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Metaphors" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Let us not mortgage our future, let us reverse mortgage our past.
John Alejandro King
8 Likes
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I woke up this morning with some music in my head. Songs that sing of being alive and find the way to spend my time without spending a dime. So I gather the rest of my change, I put it in a jar to save up for all of the things that I know I can't buy with just my heart.
SayWeCanFly
59 Likes
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Lies and truth are sort of like a poker game. You don't want to show anyone your hand, and sometimes you have to bluff. Then there are those times when you tell the truth, but your opponent thinks you're bluffing anyway. And sometimes, you get pulled in and you fall for their bluff. It's all very, very tricky.
Unknown
58 Likes
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I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas are funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
2 Likes
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Zariahh Renee
378 Likes
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Dreams are like bullets.Trigger your dreams at right time on right target with patience and integrity.
Unknown
115 Likes
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My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013, which I should have done in 2012, because I promised them in 2011 and planned them in 2010.
Unknown
101 Likes
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I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
Unknown
8 Likes
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All diseases run into one, old age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
30 Likes
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It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
Unknown
63 Likes
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I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places.
John Cougar Mellencamp
13 Likes
Living Life without a Purpose is like having an Ice cream cone in your hand, letting it melt and drip without eating it. It was yours to Enjoy, but you lost it!
Unknown
12 Likes
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How well you play the game of life comes down to the sum of your choices. Whatever you decide, don't be the chess piece, be the chess player.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Life is but a sleep disturbed by dreaming, prompted by the will; the saddened soul with sadness hides it's secrets, and the gay, with thrill.
Kahlil Gibran
12 Likes
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Life is more like football replays, when we focus on the replay reality continues, while we're missing the real game.
Unknown
20 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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Do not regret mistakes you have done in past or changes you made. Think of your life as a book,read the present, close one chapter & open another, some pages may be your waste of time, learn from your mistake but focus on next page & it's your future.
Dr Anil Kumar Sinha
18 Likes
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A ship is designed to take you places, so if your friendship, companionship, partnership or relationship isn't taking you anywhere... abandon ship!
Unknown
48 Likes
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