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Funny Meth Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Meth Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course.
Unknown
19 Likes
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henry Youngman
19 Likes
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle-baby.
Henry Youngman
41 Likes
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The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money.
Jeff Foxworthy
24 Likes
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Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
George Bernard Shaw
354 Likes
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If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
Bob Edwards
50 Likes
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The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
Unknown
371 Likes
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Will Rogers
147 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon.
Lord Chesterfield
18 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
84 Likes
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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
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Wanna play a joke on your chiropractor? The next time he starts working on you, go limp and soil yourself.
Mike Wilmot
89 Likes
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