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Funny Tireded Up Beyond All Recognition R Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Tireded Up Beyond All Recognition R" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
Hussein Nishah
350 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids.
Unknown
51 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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There should be a relationship status for I don't even know whats going on.
Unknown
38 Likes
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I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.
Unknown
20 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.
Unknown
229 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
Unknown
59 Likes
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I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style.
Unknown
382 Likes
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They knew that to put God in the constitution was to put man out. They knew that the recognition of a Deity would be seized upon by fanatics and zealots as a pretext for destroying the liberty of thought. They knew the terrible history of the church too well to place in her keeping or in the keeping of her God the sacred rights of man. They intended that all should have the right to worship or not to worship that our laws should make no distinction on account of creed. They intended to found and frame a government for man and for man alone. They wished to preserve the individuality of all to prevent the few from governing the many and the many from persecuting and destroying the few.
Robert Ingersoll
5 Likes
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