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Real Funny Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Real Funny Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
Unknown
310 Likes
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Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
Unknown
308 Likes
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I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
Unknown
1060 Likes
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I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...'That looks tasty, I'm gonna eat that.'
Unknown
568 Likes
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Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
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My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
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The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
Unknown
256 Likes
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No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
Unknown
2505 Likes
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hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby .
Carlos Banks
190 Likes
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I hate it when you sit down in shorts and suddenly your thighs look 9867484949 times fatter.
Unknown
189 Likes
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I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the same side of the towel I dried my butt off with.
Unknown
378 Likes
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I wish those red, squiggly spellcheck lines would show up when some people talk.
Unknown
90 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
1682 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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That awkward moment when you say 'Hey' to someone on facebook chat, and seconds later they sign out. How Rude.
Unknown
538 Likes
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Unknown
1536 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
Unknown
201 Likes
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If you can't afford po.., just turn on women's tennis and shut your eyes...
Unknown
371 Likes
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Okay, Seriously. Facebook isn't your psychologist. If your crying go get a tissue.
Unknown
127 Likes
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Sorry your decision to quietly change your relationship status was broadcast to every single one of your Facebook friends.
Unknown
13 Likes
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