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Funny Marriage Advise Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Marriage Advise" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and say 'I choose you.'
Unknown
105 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
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Marriage is way far away from me. Oh yes, oh God yes, almost definitely. Marriage is so far off, I gotta have a lot of life to live, I've gotta have a lot of things to do. Marriage is something I want to do when I am in my thirties.
Elijah Wood
20 Likes
'Tis melancholy, and a fearful sign Of human frailty, folly, also crime, That love and marriage rarely can combine, Although they both are born in the same clime; Marriage from love, like vinegar from wine - A sad, sour, sober beverage - by time Is s
Lord Byron
31 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.
Unknown
130 Likes
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The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn't around to propose to her.
Jarod Kintz
25 Likes
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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney
30 Likes
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Whatever you advise, be as brief as possible.
Dutch Proverb
2 Likes
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Marriage equality is about more than just marriage. It's about something greater. It's about acceptance.
Unknown
37 Likes
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I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
Kinky Friedman
81 Likes
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In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson
15 Likes
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Let's take a break from debating gay marriage to remember an unmarried 33-year-old man who hung out with 12 dudes.
Unknown
74 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
Nikhil Saluja
79 Likes
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To advise is not to compel.
Anton Chekhov
2 Likes
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
79 Likes
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My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. Its titled, Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.
Unknown
15 Likes
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Support gay marriage. I didn't vote for your marriage, why should you vote for mine?
Unknown
58 Likes
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One can advise comfortably from a safe port.
Soren Kierkegaard
0 Likes
I never advise anyone to sacrifice something else because of music, but then I don't see why they would have to anyway.
Mick Taylor
0 Likes
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