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Happy Birth Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Happy Birth Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
35 is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
Oscar Wilde
5 Likes
Funny quotes
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I was gonna make love to you, but then I got high. I was gonna eat yo pu... too, but then I got high. Now I'm jacking off... and I know why.
Afroman
100 Likes
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I was gonna go to court, before I got high. I was gonna pay my child support, but then I got high. They took my whole paycheck... and I know why.
Afroman
69 Likes
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I wasn't gonna run from the cops, but I was high. I was gonna pull right over and stop, but I was high. Now I am a paraplegic... and I know why.
Afroman
59 Likes
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If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn't want me here either.
Unknown
178 Likes
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I worked with the March of Dimes to enact legislation for a national birth defects prevention program to provide surveillance, research and preventive services aimed at reducing the rate of birth defects.
Solomon Ortiz
6 Likes
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers
8 Likes
Birth Control quotes
For birth control, I rely on my personality
Milt Abel
8 Likes
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The birth of success is always associated with the birth of a goal...
Hermann J Steinherr
0 Likes
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I was gonna pay my car note, until I got high. I wasn't gonna gamble on the boat, but then I got high. Now the tow truck is pulling away... and I know why.
Afroman
32 Likes
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If you ain't got a good job and you ain't smokin' weed, then I dont know what the fu.. you are doin' wit your life.
Katt Williams
924 Likes
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A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
Unknown
639 Likes
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...human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but...life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 Likes
Mothers quotes
I was gonna go to class, before I got high. I coulda cheated and I coulda passed, but I got high. I am taking it next semester... and I know why.
Afroman
125 Likes
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When you're single, all you see are happy couples. When you're committed, all you see are happy singles.
Unknown
606 Likes
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Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.
John Hardwick
251 Likes
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Being on birth control means I can stop worrying about an unplanned pregnancy and focus entirely on worrying about achieving an orgasm.
Unknown
33 Likes
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From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money.
Sophie Tucker
63 Likes
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After your death you will be what you were before your birth.
Arthur Schopenhauer
59 Likes
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I was gonna clean my room, until I got high. I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high. My room is still messed up... and I know why.
Afroman
106 Likes
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