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Its Colder Than Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Its Colder Than Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
Tim Vine
166 Likes
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We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home.
Gene Perret
87 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.
Unknown
633 Likes
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Sisters are special. Sisters are friends. They laugh at jokes that no one else really understands. Sisters share memories of smiles and tears. They share the same parents, pets, and silliness. They share the holidays.
Unknown
135 Likes
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This Lent, I'm giving up making jokes about what I'm giving up.
Unknown
18 Likes
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I'm not stupid; I just lack common sense. I'm not a poser; I'm just crazy. I'm not miss popularity; I just have a lot of friends. I'm not mean; I just have weird jokes. I'm not insecure; I just don't trust people. I'm just me and if you don't like it, then that sucks for you.
Unknown
341 Likes
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They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.
Mike Epps
4 Likes
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
182 Likes
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Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
Harry Hill
337 Likes
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You see, the way my bank account is set up...
Kevin Hart
294 Likes
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I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't make no difference so [long as] you happen to hit it just right. But there's one thing I'm proud of -- I ain't got it in for anybody. I don't like to make jokes that hurt anybody.
Will Rogers
6 Likes
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Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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You must have someone who...You dont need to impress. You can rely on whether you need it or not. Are fun but serious too. You can be completely honest with. Gives good advice. Listens. Wont judge you but criticizes when you need it. Gives a hug. You can make inside jokes with. Understands what you're thinking even if you dont say it. Has your back. But most importantly, someone who will make you the most you.
Unknown
141 Likes
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Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our lame jokes... I fell in love.
Unknown
98 Likes
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A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Zach Manal
42 Likes
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Horse-play, romping, frequent and loud fits of laughter, jokes, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink both merit and knowledge into a degree of contempt. They compose at most a merry fellow; and a merry fellow was never yet a respectable man.
Lord Chesterfield
1 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.
Mo Rocca
12 Likes
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To be loved is to find someone who care to you who share with you your sorrows, erase your pain, dry your tears, makes you smile when you are so sad, laugh at your jokes even the silly ones, and when he holds you tight you leave the ground flying to another world.
Unknown
36 Likes
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