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Fed Up Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Fed Up Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
44 Likes
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My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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The only thing we care about is gettin' girls & going to the gym.
Jersey Shore
37 Likes
Funny Workout quotes
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I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
Milt Kamen
51 Likes
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I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my pe..s into a poodle.
Dan Whitney
109 Likes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Dennis Miller
44 Likes
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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I thought that he was taking shots at me, when it was just jokes. It was a misunderstanding, a mis-communication ... I'm about making money.
Soulja Boy
5 Likes
Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.
Ashley Tisdale
30 Likes
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The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.
Sam Ewing
25 Likes
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My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright
72 Likes
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Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
Unknown
73 Likes
Funny quotes
I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
35 Likes
And I have come to realize that hes just a guy, a special one maybe, but hes not mine. And I dont need to do things to make him love me. If he wanted to he would.
Unknown
1430 Likes
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When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It's that simple...
Unknown
196 Likes
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Hunger is insolent, and will be fed
Homer
2 Likes
Hunger quotes
The Almighty appeared on earth as a helpless human baby, needing to be fed and changed and taught to talk like any other child. The more you think about it, the more staggering it gets. Nothing in fiction is so fantastic as this truth of the Incarnation.
JI Packer
10 Likes
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I can't do this anymore. Pretend that everything's great. Act like there's nothing to hate. Wipe away every tear. Run away from my fears. Talk like everything's okay. Live like there's nothing wrong with today.
Unknown
123 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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