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Funny Beer Statu Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Beer Statu" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Zariahh Renee
378 Likes
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I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas are funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
2 Likes
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Police in Wisconsin are searching for three men who stole $24,000 dollars worth of Miller beer. $24,000 dollars worth of Miller? Did they steal all of it?
Seth Meyers
6 Likes
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My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013, which I should have done in 2012, because I promised them in 2011 and planned them in 2010.
Unknown
101 Likes
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All diseases run into one, old age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
30 Likes
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I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places.
John Cougar Mellencamp
13 Likes
It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
Unknown
63 Likes
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I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
Unknown
8 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Shubham Joshi
170 Likes
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Your annual booze-fueled New Year's Eve spectacle will surely inspire us all to drink less in 2014.
Unknown
3 Likes
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I aint a redneck 'cause I talk American real good!
Alec Straub
164 Likes
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A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
Unknown
549 Likes
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Lets attend an opulent New Year's Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
Hussein Nishah
554 Likes
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I feel lazy. In fact, I'm feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Unknown
164 Likes
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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