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Funny Southern Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Southern" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.
Unknown
473 Likes
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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Getting my dragon was perhaps the biggest surprise. I was in Amsterdam and got a little crazy, dropping my pants at a tattoo parlour and woke up the next morning and saw this really funny dragon. Ive always wanted a dragon but this one had a funny blue tongue. To me a dragon is very much a woman, strong and elegant.
Angelina Jolie
7 Likes
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
86 Likes
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What I thought I was going to do over the summer: hang with friends, have a party, go swimming, go to the beach. What I did: Internet.
Unknown
110 Likes
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown
71 Likes
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I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
Unknown
146 Likes
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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Hussein Nishah
270 Likes
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Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.
Nikhil Saluja
347 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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Friends are like underwear, always near you. Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you. Best friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down.
Unknown
2145 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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This 2016 my resolution is to complete the resolution of 2015 that I should have completed in 2014.
Anurag Prakash Ray
45 Likes
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Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.
Billy Bob Thornton
2 Likes
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Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
Unknown
561 Likes
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Kids are price less. They are loud, funny, loveable, crazy, funny, and a hand full. Even though they look so peaceful and calm when they're sleeping, you just hope they wake up to see them smile or just hear the sound of little foot steps around the house.
Sinahi Martinez
69 Likes
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Here's to ending the New Year still having a job that you still wish you didn't have.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Let's resolve to repeat last year's mistakes.
Unknown
19 Likes
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I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
Unknown
764 Likes
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