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Italian Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Italian Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.
Unknown
229 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
Unknown
59 Likes
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I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style.
Unknown
382 Likes
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My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I dont like really feminine men who tan. I dont understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brands not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.
Kesha
18 Likes
My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I don't like really feminine men who tan. I don't understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brand's not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.
Kesha
38 Likes
The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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I think it's funny that most people who claim to be 'pro life' are also pro gun. And by funny I mean sad. And by people I mean morons.
Unknown
26 Likes
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Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
Unknown
1488 Likes
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Sorry the movie New Year's Eve will still be more enjoyable than your actual New Year's Eve.
Unknown
1 Likes
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I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.
Paul Rudd
14 Likes
Weird people are funny. If you're just completely normal, you're boring. So I so much prefer weird people to boring people.
Bobbie
29 Likes
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If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.'
Unknown
1326 Likes
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I don't think fat is pretty. If I saw some big fat leopard walking through the jungle, I'd start laughing. Or if I was at the races, I saw some 150-lb. greyhound running against the other lean greyhounds, I'd start laughing too. It doesn't seem very natural. It doesn't look healthy. It doesn't look sleek or stealth. It looks funny. I think that's why people through history laugh at fat people. They're round and funny-looking.
Kirstie Alley
27 Likes
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